I've recently discovered something called the Big Life Journal - a growth-mindset tool to help raise happy, resilient kids. This week's topic is how to deal with negative outlooks, or as I like to call, "the Eeyore syndrome" for those Winnie the Pooh fans out there.
Be sure to check out the FREE download to create your own Jar of Awesome (see below).
Got other tips or tricks? Please share!
7 Powerful Ways to Respond When Your Child Complains
by Rebecca Louick June 28, 2018
Complaining and whining are two of the most frustrating things parents face. They are also completely normal. In fact, the average adult complains 30 times a day or 9 minutes total!
Kids complain for lots of good reasons: to blow off steam, to connect with us, and because they feel powerless. Other times, the complaints might mask an underlying emotion that needs to be released.
Whatever the cause, complaining and whining are opportunities to help our kids find better ways to express their feelings, and shift to a more positive mindset.
While it’s normal to vent sometimes, frequent complaining is not a healthy option.
Repeated complaining rewires your brain….Over time, you find it’s easier to be negative than to be positive, regardless of what’s happening around you. - Dr. Travis Bradberry
A study at Stanford University showed that complaining shrinks the hippocampus, an area of the brain necessary for problem-solving and emotion regulation.
Here are some strategies to help kids express their dissatisfaction in healthier, more positive ways.
Here's a fun activity for your home or classroom that will help you turn around the negativity and complaining. Get the free printable (see below), and create the Jar of Awesome by following instructions.
Whenever you need a little motivation or positivity boost, pick a piece of paper from the jar, read it, and celebrate YOUR awesome moments!
Living in Kansas City has taught me that nothing feels better than a cool pool on a HOT, midwest, summer day. The pool is a natural gathering spot for friends and family, and kids love it! That being said, we are constantly reminding and updating our own "pool rules" to keep safety at the forefront. After all, rules for a toddler are much different than for a 12-year-old.
The CDC estimates that there are 10 unintentional drownings each day and that 1 out of 5 occur in children ages 14 and younger. The biggest reasons for these deaths are lack of swimming ability, lack of water enclosure (gates, etc) and lack of supervision.
A fence with locking gait is always a good idea if you've got an in-ground pool, but don't forget the above-ground pools. Removing the ladder and storing it in a place that kids can't access is critical in avoiding pool-related accidents.
As far as "lack of supervision" goes, this doesn't just mean not having an adult in proximity to the pool. It's easy to get side-tracked when outside enjoying a summer day with a group of friends and drownings happen in group settings when everyone assumes everyone else is watching out for trouble. Be sure there is always at least one person on "active" life-guarding duty when hanging out poolside. I've seen kids get into a sticky situation in a matter of seconds even with a grown-up close by. The splashing and shrieking of the other kids can sometimes distract from a panicky child who can't call out for help so keeping a close eye on the whole pool is very important.
And lastly, there are tons of great places to get swimming lessons around town including: the YMCA, the Jewish Community Center, Infant Aquatics, UMKC, as well as lessons at local parks and recreation facilities. Basic life support classes are offered at a variety of places, including Kansas City First Aid.
See the tips from www.poolsafetly.gov below for some ideas on how you can help safeguard your family and friends.
Look after yourselves and have a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend!
The sun is finally out and if you're anything like me, you don't think about sunscreen until right after you've been out in it too long - ouch! This year, I'm ready and thought I'd share some tips on how to keep you and your family - of all ages - safe in the sun.
Tips for Avoiding Sunburn
1. Dress for success. In this case that means wearing sun protective clothing, hats, and other physical barriers to protect the skin from the sun. And don't forget sunglasses!
2. Try to avoid the sun's most intense rays by staying out of the sun during the middle of the day when the sun's rays are most intense. This may seem obvious, but it takes advance planning.
3. Don't be lulled into complacency by overcast days, since most of the sun's harmful rays will get through the clouds.
4. Keep babies younger than 6 months out of direct sunlight altogether. Shade can be found under a tree, umbrella, or the stroller.
5. Be especially careful if you are around water, sand, snow, or any surface that will reflect and therefore intensify the sun's rays.
6. Remember, the sun’s rays are more intense the higher you get in elevation. Use extra precaution when in the mountains.
Tips for Selecting Sunscreen
1. When purchasing sunscreen, select a brand with an SPF of at least 30, preferably greater.
2. Choose a sunscreen that says “broad-spectrum” on the label – this means it will provide protection against both UVA and UVB rays.
3. In general, infants' skin is much thinner and more sensitive to the sun than adults' skin, even in individuals with darker complexions.
4. The amount of sunscreen needed depends on how light the child’s complexion is. I prefer mineral based sunscreens to chemical based sunscreens where practical.
5. The AAP used to recommend not putting sunscreen on infants under six months of age. This is no longer the case, because the danger from sunburns outweighs the risk of sensitivity to sunscreens. For babies younger than 6 months, use sunscreen on small areas of the body, such as the face and the backs of the hands.
6. Sunscreen is most effective if first applied 20-30 minutes before sun exposure.
7. Re-apply after swimming.
8. Even waterproof sunscreens should be re-applied every 80 minutes or so, after being in the water.
Check out this great mineral based sunscreen that our family loves. Want more details on the best gear/products? Head on over to Lucie's List for all things summer.
Now go outside and play!
Kylie Vannaman MD
Dr. Vannaman is a proud family physician and co-founder of Health Suite 110
I believe we all want what's best for our kids and do our very best to provide them with the environment and opportunities to help them thrive. Many kids are lucky enough to be involved in extra-curricular activities including sports, drama, music and other hobbies. Through these activities, they learn valuable skills in self-discipline, teamwork, and stick-with-it-ness that will hopefully serve them well in their future endeavors.
That being said, if I could recommend families do only ONE thing to improve a their child's health, wellbeing and chances for success in the world, it would be the family meal.
It seems almost too simple or old-fashioned to be my go-to advice, but common sense and science agree that making time to sit down and for a meal together empowers children for:
- better academic performance
- higher self-esteeem
- greater sense of resilience
- improved social and communication skills
- lower risk of substance abuse
- lower risk of teen pregnancy
- lower risk of depression and suicide
- lower risk of developing eating disorders
- lower rates of obesity
- improved sense of belonging
Need some FREE & easy recipe ideas? Check out these One Pot Wonders from the Family Dinner Project. Slow cooker and Quick & Easy recipes from AllRecipes.
Kylie Vannaman MD is a Board-Certified Family Medicine Doctor in Kansas City who believes that trusting relationships and quality conversations are essential to providing outstanding primary care to one and all. Sign up today!
If you're like me, it's such a drag to get "Fine" as an answer to this classic dinnertime question. Luckily, I stumbled onto the brilliant folks over at Simple Simon & Company for some great suggestions on how to get a real conversation going and couldn't help but share their wisdom. Ready, set, go!
#1. What was the best thing that happened at school today? (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?)
#2. Tell me something that made you laugh today.
#3. If you could choose who would you like to sit by in class? (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class? Why?)
#4. Where is the coolest place at the school?
#5. Tell me a weird word that you heard today. (Or something weird that someone said.)
#6. If I called your teacher tonight what would she tell me about you?
#7. How did you help somebody today?
#8. How did somebody help you today?
#9. Tell me one thing that you learned today.
#10. When were you the happiest today?
#11. When were you bored today?
#12. If an alien spaceship came to your class and beamed up someone who would you want them to take?
#13. Who would you like to play with at recess that you’ve never played with before?
#14. Tell me something good that happened today.
#15. What word did your teacher say most today?
#16. What do you think you should do/learn more of at school?
#17. What do you think you should do/learn less of at school?
#18. Who in your class do you think you could be nicer to?
#19. Where do you play the most at recess?
#20. Who is the funniest person in your class? Why is he/she so funny?
#21. What was your favorite part of lunch?
#22. If you got to be the teacher tomorrow what would you do?
#23. Is there anyone in your class that needs a time out?
#24. If you could switch seats with anyone in the class who would you trade with? Why?
#25. Tell me about three different times you used your pencil today at school.
For their teen version, check out www.simplesimonandco.com
I've marked my top favorites in RED. These have been handy for for me in figuring out some of my son's class dynamics in new and entertaining ways.
Another dinnertime ritual that we do from time to time is for everyone around the table to share "3 Good Things" about their day. I find when we do this regularly, it helps build the habit of gratitude which gets us recognizing the "good things" in real time too!
Dr. Vannaman is a Board Certified Family Medicine Doctor in Kansas City who believes that trusting relationships and quality conversations are essential to providing outstanding primary care to one and all. Sign up today!
Don't forget about our upcoming Direct Primary Care for Business Event
Thursday August 25th from 5:30-7:30pm
at the Matt Ross Community Center at 81st & Metcalf in Overland Park.
Self-insured and small business owners encouraged to attend, EVERYONE welcome. Please RSVP & bring a friend!